I Am Me

I have recently discovered a fantastic song. It goes like this:

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

-Free to Be Me by Francesca Battistelli

I had the WEIRDEST summer of my life. Seriously. I have had twenty summers in my life and this one was the suckiest/stupidest/weirdest/unforgettable-est summer yet. And I lived in Provo. Yeah, who knew right?

Well, this song is perfect. I could go through the whole song and analyze every line and how it applies to my sad life, but I think those of you who know me can do that yourselves haha

I am NOT perfect at all, hell, I'm faaaar from perfect. But I am trying. I have learned so much this summer and I dont regret doing anything. Its the worst when something crappy happens because you just want to sit in a corner and cry, so having to actually learn a lesson from the crappy situation makes you want to punch someone in the face. Thats kinda the point I'm at right now. I have realized that I have learned some great lessons this semester from my weird summer. Here's a list (because I like lists):
1. Not all RM's are peaches, and not all boys who dont go on missions are trash. Um yeah. Biggest lesson. It turned my world upside down.
2. I am physically and mentally able to work full time. When I'm married, I will be able to work my tail off and be happy because I've done it before for two semesters and I'm doing it again for one more.
3. I can't find happiness. No matter how hard I try. The more I search, the more unhappy and stressed I get. It just has to come naturally.
4. Eternal marriage is a big deal. BIG deal. And Satan is doing EVERYTHING in his power to ruin it for EVERYONE.
5. I love myself. I love my hair, I love my quirks, I love my friends, I love my life. I really do. Its a tough one (to me) but hard is good. I have a sad life because there are just more things I need to learn and do here. I am super excited for this semester and next semester.

Soooo, I've got a lot of dents in my old, Ford fender. And I have two huge rips in the knees in all of my jeans. On my own I suck at life but with guidence and knowledge of the gospel, I do so much better and I am happy to be me. Woah.

If life were easy it wouldn't be hard. And hard is good.
joy=salvation
I'm one step closer to my eternal companion
peace, love, and blessings