Back From The Dead!

Yes, I know. Its been forever since I've blogged. Hurray for free time.
Well... I have spent my summer searching for jobs, and working at said jobs. I now work at Response Marketing where I sit for four hours watching TV and doodling while talking to people on the phone about real estate conferences, and at Buy Low where I check people out... like "ting ting". I love my jobs. And I love my two $300 pay checks (yes thats a total of $600. nice right?)

But what I dont like, is my work life. Here's my schedule three to four days of the week:
2am-10am: SLEEP!
12pm-4pm: work at RM
5pm-11:30pm: work at BL
11:30pm-12:30ish am: find someone (a male) to entertain me so I can get energy out
1am: try to fall asleep

It kind of sucks. The other two to three days of my week are spent only working at one job, actually eating, facebooking, skyping, and going to the daily ward activities. So honestly, I havent had time to blog and there hasnt been anything blog worthy in my life to blog about anyway.

But.... duh duh duh DUH! I got to live at home for a week!! I got to leave all the stress and evil back in Provo. It has been great. Funny... this time last year, all I wanted to do was leave my house and be in Provo but now, I just want to live at home again.
1. It smells nice. Everything does. The people who live there, my old room, even my dogs.
2. There is always food! And good food too.
3. I have three sisters at home, so there is always someone there to play with me, entertain me, and make me laugh :)
4. No worrying about how I look. I looked like a little boy the WHOLE time. Since I cut my hair into the Shorty Short, I have to put some form of makeup on or cute clothing on so that I actually look like a girl. But at home, I didnt have to!! It was sweet.
5. My parents let me sleep and sleep and sleep. And let me be lazy.

So, this post isnt just about me being at home.
I have come to realize how many things I haven't thought about or tried to fix, and should.
One of them is school, and I'm on it. I'm going in on Monday to meet with a couselor! Woop.
Next, my boy problem. It is ONE problem. There are lots of people involved in this problem. But, it is one single problem.

Now, I'm not going to share any of the things I thought about to fix my boy problem. Fooled ya. But I am going to say this one sentence that I know about myself: I am a hormonal, marriage/baby hungry, too-experienced-for-my-own-good, almost 20-year-old, with too many emotions and "feelings" for boys.

Yeah. I'll admit it.

So! I am back from the dead in two ways.
-I got to get out of my zombie life of work and stress in{Provo and come live at home and be alive again, and let me tell ya it felt wonderful.
-AND, I think I have finally come to the realization that my emotions/hormonal half get the best of me. In EVERY situation I am in... with a boy. Nuff said.

This summer I kept myself busy for a good two months instead of addressing my boy issuse that needed to be addressed this summer. Work kept my mind off everything. And I'm sorta grateful and sorta upset... cause now I have to deal with the problems. I know I shouldn't push my problems away because they only fester and get bigger, but I did. The problems aren't bigger, just harder (for me) to fix.

Anyway, hope my friends are proud that I blogged! Its not much... but its a start haha
I will come back from the dead and post more often I promise.

if life were easy it wouldn't be hard. And hard is good.
joy=salvation
I'm one step closer to my eternal companion
peace, love, and blessings